i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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