What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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