your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
