If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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