Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
