So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
