Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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