Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
