either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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