turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize