i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it's like iHOP with fire
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
