Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
did i walk over a car last night?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
