So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Send help, water and tortillas.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
