mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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