i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
