So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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