Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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