I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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