I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
