dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
there is glitter all over my balls
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
