Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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