I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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