i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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