Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize