We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
