so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
