i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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