I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
