And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
