I just saw a hot homeless man
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
