It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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