You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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