I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just invented taco cereal.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize