hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
