wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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