We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize