So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
