doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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