i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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