adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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