Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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