I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
