So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
