She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
