my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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