When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
