Will you blow on my dice?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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