I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
they need to just BURY HIM!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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