the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
