some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
