I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
