FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize