Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
