we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
