So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
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i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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