Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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