i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
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I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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