Duck Duck Cougar?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
