I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Plan B is the new Plan A
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
